Last week my sister and I decided to clean up our study books. My sister believed that if we kept our old notebooks, we could use them in the future. Like that was going to happen in the era of the internet. But she did. And she is this ideal sister of mine, so I followed. We had our old notebook from the 11th standard till our graduation. And that my friends resulted in 102.500 KGs of scrap. In my defense, we studied a lot. Also, the two of us are pursuing different professional degrees; which might be the reason of quite a few kilograms.
The entire process was quite a hassle, considering we had to remove the name from each and every book because my mom is a bit paranoid about people using that name for something or the other. I even wonder who would want to do anything to two stupid girls. I mean, ‘what would it say about that person’s IQ?’ But then, the world does not run on intelligence; it runs on stupidity: hence I stupidly complied. Then took all those sacks, weighing 102.500 KG into the car. I feel proud of that stupid achievement. That is enough motivation for a week. Told you, ‘the world runs on stupidity.’
But those notebooks had many memories, like never writing from the front and creative doodles by my friends; most importantly, every book had messages written on its back pages for my almost deaf grandmother. We lost her in 2020. By that time, she was a complete handicap looking like a fragile baby who needed the utmost care and wearing diapers like a baby. So when my sister and I read messages urging her to reduce her stubbornness 7-8 years ago, we just laughed. The language was rough, and we even assumed that she was being stubborn just to irritate us. 7-8 years later, we think that was a tad too much on our part. But at that time, it seemed very reasonable! Hell, at that time, we even thought we were being very patient with her.
Looking back at a particular event has always been very funny to me. When you have a situation, you are only thinking about yourself. But when you look back, you see it as an whole event, and if you are genuinely trying, most events will make you smile, if not laugh. Feelings that mattered a few days, months, or years ago do not matter now, just like those books we kept for years do not matter now. All that frustration we had for our grandmother does not matter now. She knew we loved her, and we know she tolerated us! Even if you want to hold on to these feelings for years, you cannot. You have to tell your mind to hold those emotions. And that is exhausting. No one should go through that.
Lesson Learned: Throw the books away and keep the knowledge, laugh a little at old memories, and most importantly – maybe not sing it like a Disney princess but do let it go!
And since I have a twisted mind, I would be thrilled to see an old person saying – ‘I am troubling you just because you troubled me when you were little!’ That would be like a long planned vengeance and probably the most honest confession.
A Heart-felt world 